Leaving home

Where to start

Your child’s own GP, near where they live, is the first call for their health, and at university the wellbeing service is the next; NHS 111, or Lifeline in Northern Ireland, is the line for a mental health crisis that can’t wait, in the nation your child is in; while they are still at school or college, the school or college knows them best; and MoneyHelper can help with money worries.

• Your child’s own GP. The GP near where your child lives, who can see them, prescribe, and refer them on. From eighteen your child books and goes on their own, and the surgery needs their agreement to tell you anything. If you’re worried, ring the surgery and say what you’ve seen. It can listen even when it can’t tell you anything back. www.nhs.uk/service-search/find-a-gp
• Your child’s university wellbeing service. The service most universities run for students’ mental health and wellbeing, usually with free counselling a student can refer themselves to. When your child is struggling at university. They refer themselves; you can tell the service what you have seen, even if it can’t tell you anything back.
• NHS 111, and Lifeline in Northern Ireland. The mental health crisis line for your area. Free, confidential and answered twenty-four hours a day, every day of the year. When you or your child is in mental health crisis and it will not wait for a GP appointment. England, Scotland and Wales: call 111 and choose the mental-health optionNorthern Ireland: call Lifeline on 0808 808 8000
• Your child’s school. The pastoral lead, the head of year, or the form tutor. Free, already knows your child, and often the quickest way to get something changed at school. Before or alongside anything else. A school cannot act on what it has not been told, and what you bring is often what it did not have.
• MoneyHelper. The government-backed free money guidance service, including a debt advice locator. When money is part of what is happening at home. Children read household stress long before anyone explains it to them. www.moneyhelper.org.uk

For leaving home

• UCAS. UCAS’s pages for parents on applications, results day, Clearing, apprenticeships and the alternatives. From Year 11 onward. Information, not advice. University admissions is the main focus. For apprenticeships in depth, apprenticeships.gov.uk is fuller. www.ucas.com/discover/advice-for-parents-guardians-and-carers
• YoungMinds. The UK’s young people’s mental health charity, with a free Parents Helpline, webchat and email, and a plain A to Z of the things parents worry about. When you want to talk through a worry about your child with someone who has heard it before, or read a clear first explanation of a named concern. Not a crisis line. Parents Helpline 0808 802 5544 · Mon, Thu, Fri 9.30am-4pm; Tue, Wed 9.30am-6pm · Webchat Mon-Fri 9.30am-4pm; email parents@youngminds.org.uk · Outside those hours the parents line is closed. The urgent routes on this page are open when it is not. www.youngminds.org.uk/parent/parents-helpline
• Coram Family Lives. A free, confidential helpline for any parenting or family worry, by phone, live chat, WhatsApp or email, staffed by trained family support workers. When you need to talk it through with someone, about your child or about how you are managing, and you do not need a specialist to do it. Coram Family Lives helpline 0808 800 2222 · Mon-Fri 9am-9pm; weekends 10am-3pm; closed bank holidays · Live chat and WhatsApp 07441 444125 at the same hours; email askus@coramfamilylives.org.uk · Outside those hours the line is closed. Samaritans answer at any hour on 116 123, and Shout answer if you text the word SHOUT to 85258. www.coramfamilylives.org.uk/how-we-can-help/confidential-helpline
• The Mix. A free service for under-twenty-fives on anything at all: a twenty-four-hour crisis text line, peer chat, short-term counselling and discussion boards. Something to give your teenager rather than use yourself. The text line is there at three in the morning. Crisis text 24/7; counselling, peer chat and boards by arrangement www.themix.org.uk/get-support
• Brook. The young people’s sexual health charity. Calm pages for parents on puberty, periods and talking about sex and relationships at home. When the question has arrived in the back of the car. Reading; the clinics are for young people themselves. www.brook.org.uk/parents-and-carers
• FRANK. The government’s confidential drugs advice line, open twenty-four hours, with an A to Z of drugs, a section for parents who are worried about their child, and a finder for local services. When you have found something, or heard something, and want facts before the conversation. Charged at your standard call rate, not free. FRANK 0300 123 6600 · Phone 24 hours, every day; texts and emails are answered, with no reply time given www.talktofrank.com
• StepChange Debt Charity. Free debt advice by phone or online, and a short guide to telling children what the household cannot afford. When money is part of what is happening at home. Start online if the phone queue is long. For wider money guidance, MoneyHelper is the other place to look. StepChange Helpline 0800 138 1111 · Mon-Fri 8am-8pm; Sat 9am-2pm · Outside those hours the line is closed. Samaritans answer at any hour on 116 123, and Shout answer if you text the word SHOUT to 85258. www.stepchange.org/contact-us.aspx
• NHS Every Mind Matters. The NHS self-help hub, with a page on children’s mental health and free programmes on sleep and anxiety for you. When you want an NHS source specifically, for sleep, low mood or your own wellbeing. Light, and deliberately so. www.nhs.uk/every-mind-matters/supporting-others/childrens-mental-health

If you are considering private therapy

Waiting lists are long. If you can meet the cost, a registered therapist can usually be seen in weeks rather than months. Both registers below are accredited by the Professional Standards Authority, which is the thing to check before anything else.

• BACP Therapist Directory. The British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy’s public register. Search by area, by what you are bringing, and by whether the therapist works with children. www.bacp.co.uk/search/Therapists
• NCPS Therapist Directory. The National Counselling and Psychotherapy Society’s register. Every therapist listed is qualified, supervised, insured, and accountable to a code of ethics. ncps.com/find-a-counsellor
• Kensington Square Therapy. Our own practice. We work with children, young people and parents, in person in London, online, and inside schools we partner with. www.kst.ltd

What to look for in a therapist, what a first session is like, and the questions worth asking before you commit, are set out at theparentbook.com/finding-a-therapist

Everything else

The full directory, across every subject, is at theparentbook.com/services. If a number here has changed, please tell us at hello@theparentbook.com and we will correct it.