Adoption, fostering and kinship care

Where to start

Start with the council or regional adoption agency, or, if you foster, your child’s social worker, because they open the way to most other support; then the school, which sees your child every day; then the GP, if your child’s mental health is suffering; and last, private therapy, for families who can pay and can’t wait.

• Your council’s adoption support or kinship team, or your regional adoption agency. In England and Wales the council must assess an adoptive family’s need for adoption support if asked. In England, special guardians whose child was in care just before the order are entitled to an assessment too, the assessment is the way into the Adoption and Special Guardianship Support Fund, and councils must publish a kinship local offer. Before a crisis if you can. Ask in writing, say what is hard and for how long, and ask to see the written report. If you foster, your child’s social worker, or your supervising social worker, is the first call instead. www.gov.uk/find-local-council
• Your child’s school. The pastoral lead, the head of year, or the form tutor. Free, already knows your child, and often the quickest way to get something changed at school. Before or alongside anything else. A school cannot act on what it has not been told, and what you bring is often what it did not have.
• Your GP. The gateway to everything the NHS offers a child: paediatric assessment, a referral to CAMHS, and support for you as the parent. Ask for a double appointment. Describe the pattern over weeks rather than the worst single day, and say plainly what you are worried about. Bring a written list; the ten minutes go quickly. www.nhs.uk/service-search/find-a-gp
• Private therapy, if you can meet the cost. A registered counsellor or psychotherapist, found through the BACP or NCPS directories. Waiting lists are shorter than the NHS and you choose who your child sits with. When waiting is the problem, or when you want a particular kind of help. What to look for, and what to expect, is set out in our guide to finding a therapist. theparentbook.com/finding-a-therapist

For adoption, fostering and kinship care

• Kinship. Free advice from Kinship’s specialist team, by phone or in an appointment you book, and peer groups across England and Wales, if you are a grandparent, relative or family friend raising a child. For the legal, financial, school and emotional layers of raising a child who is not your own by birth. Charged at your standard call rate, not free. Kinship Advice Line 0300 123 7015 · Mon-Fri 10.30am-1pm, excluding public holidays · Outside those hours the line is closed. Samaritans answer at any hour on 116 123, and Shout answer if you text the word SHOUT to 85258. kinship.org.uk/support-and-advice/talk-to-someone/contact-the-kinship-advice-team
• Adoption UK. The peer-led charity for adoptive and kinship families. A weekday advice line, peer support and resources on school and on adopted teenagers. For the everyday texture of adoptive family life, and the school assignments and questions that catch families out. Charged at your standard call rate, not free. Adoption UK Information and Support Line 0300 666 0006 · Mon-Fri 10am-2.30pm; Northern Ireland Mon-Fri 9am-5pm; excluding public holidays · Outside those hours the line is closed. Samaritans answer at any hour on 116 123, and Shout answer if you text the word SHOUT to 85258. www.adoptionuk.org/information-and-support-service
• The Fostering Network. The UK’s fostering charity, with a Fosterline in each nation, open to anyone, free to call in England and Wales and charged at your standard call rate in Scotland and Northern Ireland, and a library on settling a placement, handling a child’s history and endings. At any point in a placement, from the first seventy-two hours onward. Foster carers who are members can also use a 24-hour legal helpline. Fosterline (England) and The Fostering Network advice lines 0800 040 7675 · England Mon-Fri 9am-5pm; Scotland Mon-Fri 10am-4pm; Wales Mon-Fri 9.30am-12.30pm; Northern Ireland Mon-Fri 9.30am-1.30pm; closed bank holidays · Outside those hours the line is closed. If a child is in immediate danger, call 999. If it is about a child in your care and cannot wait, call your fostering service’s out-of-hours number or, if you have none, the child’s local out-of-hours children’s social care, social work or social services team. Samaritans answer at any hour on 116 123, and Shout answer if you text the word SHOUT to 85258. www.thefosteringnetwork.org.uk/for-carers/get-advice/the-fostering-network-advice-lines
• PAC-UK. Specialist post-adoption support, part of Family Action. An advice line staffed by adoption specialists and social workers, and a route into trauma-informed therapy. When peer support is no longer enough and the family needs clinical help, including a teenager searching for birth family. Charged at your standard call rate, not free. PAC-UK Advice Line, part of Family Action 0300 1800 090 · Mon-Wed 10am-4pm; Thu 10am-7pm; Fri 10am-1pm; closed bank holidays · Outside those hours the line is closed. Samaritans answer at any hour on 116 123, and Shout answer if you text the word SHOUT to 85258. family-action.org.uk/get-support/pac-uk-adoption-and-special-guardianship-support
• Anna Freud. The Anna Freud Centre’s family wellbeing resources: careful, research-led reading on children’s emotional development, separation, self-care for parents, and supporting a child through treatment. When you want depth from a clinical source rather than a quick explainer. Reading only; there is no helpline. www.annafreud.org/resources/family-wellbeing
• PEGS (Parental Education Growth Support). Free support for parents experiencing child to parent abuse: one-to-one help where it is funded, a parents’ group and a six-week online programme. When your child, of any age, is hurting, threatening or controlling you at home and you want support from people who understand child to parent abuse. www.pegsupport.co.uk/support-from-pegs
• NSPCC. The NSPCC helpline is for adults worried about a child. You do not have to be sure, you can call anonymously, and they will tell you whether it needs to go further and help you take that step. When something has been said or seen and you do not know what to do with it. Childline, 0800 1111, is the line for a child to call themselves. NSPCC Helpline (for adults) 0808 800 5000 · Mon-Fri 10am-4pm by phone; email 11am-4pm, seven days a week. An email sent when the service is closed is not received. · If the NSPCC service is closed and the concern cannot wait, call the police on 101. You can also contact the child’s local out-of-hours children’s social care, social work or social services team. If a child is in immediate danger, call 999. www.nspcc.org.uk/about-us/our-services/nspcc-helpline

If you are considering private therapy

Waiting lists are long. If you can meet the cost, a registered therapist can usually be seen in weeks rather than months. Both registers below are accredited by the Professional Standards Authority, which is the thing to check before anything else.

• BACP Therapist Directory. The British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy’s public register. Search by area, by what you are bringing, and by whether the therapist works with children. www.bacp.co.uk/search/Therapists
• NCPS Therapist Directory. The National Counselling and Psychotherapy Society’s register. Every therapist listed is qualified, supervised, insured, and accountable to a code of ethics. ncps.com/find-a-counsellor
• Kensington Square Therapy. Our own practice. We work with children, young people and parents, in person in London, online, and inside schools we partner with. www.kst.ltd

What to look for in a therapist, what a first session is like, and the questions worth asking before you commit, are set out at theparentbook.com/finding-a-therapist

Everything else

The full directory, across every subject, is at theparentbook.com/services. If a number here has changed, please tell us at hello@theparentbook.com and we will correct it.