Trauma in Childhood

A chapter for parents whose child has been through something, or whose family has.

From the full chapter at theparentbook.com/reader/the-shape-of-trauma-in-childhood

What helps after something big

Felt safety is not built in a conversation. It is built in the repeated, predictable, calm presence of the same adult, day after day.

Be the most predictable thing in her week. Wake-up at the same time, breakfast the same shape, the school run the same route. In this period these are not small details of family life; they are the repair.
Offer vocabulary for the body. “Sometimes after something big happens, our bodies remember it before our heads do. That is normal.” Said in the car, in different forms, across weeks.
Allow the regression without making it the topic. The four-year-old back at your bedside is asking an old question again. Answer it, warmly, without headlines.
Do your own work in parallel. The parent who witnessed the same event, or lost the same person, is carrying it too. Support for you is support for the child.

Urgent help

If you or your child is in immediate danger, call 999. If you, or your child, is in mental health crisis, call NHS 111 and choose the mental-health option in England, Scotland and Wales, or Lifeline, free and confidential on 0808 808 8000, in Northern Ireland. Every other helpline, including Childline, Papyrus, NSPCC, Shout and Samaritans, is at theparentbook.com/urgent-help.