Neurodiversity, and the Conversation with the School

A chapter for parents whose child has been working harder than other children, for longer, to do the things that come more easily to others.

From the full chapter at theparentbook.com/reader/neurodiversity-and-the-conversation-with-the-school

What helps with the school, this term

Support at school does not wait for a diagnosis. It starts when the SENCo knows what you are seeing.

Ask for the SENCo meeting this term. “I am noticing my daughter is finding several things at school harder than I would expect, and I would like to discuss what support might be in place” is enough to begin the graduated response.
Bring specifics, in writing. The homework that takes four hours, the Friday-evening collapse, the friend who stopped coming over. Specifics are what a SENCo can act on; general worry is what they politely note.
Stay out of the adversarial posture. Most schools want what is best for the child inside a resource constraint that is not theirs to fix. Where the support is not enough, IPSEA’s advice line is the specialist route to an EHCP. (IPSEA: 0300 222 5899 · Triage Tue 9.30am-12.30pm; Call-in Helpline Wed 9.30am-2.30pm · www.ipsea.org.uk/advice-line)
Pace the conversation with the child. Under nine or so, the language of what she notices rather than diagnosis. Adolescents tend to want the name; the name is the relief.

Urgent help

If you or your child is in immediate danger, call 999. If you, or your child, is in mental health crisis, call NHS 111 and choose the mental-health option in England, Scotland and Wales, or Lifeline, free and confidential on 0808 808 8000, in Northern Ireland. Every other helpline, including Childline, Papyrus, NSPCC, Shout and Samaritans, is at theparentbook.com/urgent-help.